Being on this earth for 32 years hasn’t left me with nothing. I’ve learned some shit! And I thought, being the caring individual that I am, that I’d share some of that shit with you! You’re welcome! So without further ado, here is volume two:
* Election season makes my eye twitch.
* Having a puppy is eerily similar to having a baby, sans diapers.
* Diapers might make having a puppy a bit easier.
* Note to self: invent puppy diapers.
* I’m convinced that weather people spin a wheel to decide what lies they are going to tell the public.
* Pollen is the devil.
* Going to the beach is all fun and games until you come home with half the beach in your car.
* Cable TV is awesome, but exorbitantly expensive.
* But I say fuck it and pay for it anyway.
* Because I can literally watch anything I want, pretty much whenever I want.
* Except when the kids are home.
* And the husband.
* Ok maybe I can’t watch whatever I want.
* Because they consistently have the TV on kids shows, sports or the history channel #aliens
* I still can’t believe Shonda killed McDreamy.
* Or that Meredith almost died. Again.
* I stole some of my kids Easter candy and ate it in the bathroom.
* I think that’s the parenting version of rock bottom.
* But it was delicious.
* Just because cars come with turn signals, does not guarantee that drivers will use them.
* This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.
* They are there for a reason!
* If you use the last of the water in the keurig and don’t replace it, you’re an asshole. #firstworldproblems
* Growing up in Southern California did not prepare me for living in a place where it rains.
* I have a mini panic attack when I have to drive in the rain.
* Florida rain ain’t nothing to fuck with.
* Much like Wu Tang Clan.
* IEP meetings are stressful.
* Especially when I have to do three a year.
* Being an adult is for the birds.