#momproblems

01041wow-postersI became a mom young, at the ripe old age of twenty-two. I had no idea what to expect and had no idea I’d be embarking on such an amazing journey. A journey that would make me feel a myriad of emotions: love, hate, sadness, pride, disappointment, anger, frustration…I could go on, but that would be a pretty boring story.

Having three boys is quite an adventure. And no, I’m not having anymore. People ask me that all the time and it’s so annoying. There was a time I wanted a daughter and I’m not going to lie, sometimes I see all the pink and frilly shit at Target and I swoon. But I’m good with my boys. Their appearance is easy to maintain, they have way cooler toys and they support my mission in decorating my house in Star Wars memorabilia. It’s a win/win as far as I’m concerned.

Being a mom has been by far the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I love my boys to the moon and back and I’m in awe of how amazing they are. And also how much they can drive me insane. It’s not all lollipops and rainbows in this life. Unless the rainbows have been drawn on the walls and the lollipops are stuck to the carpet. Both of those have happened in my house. Not at the same time though. My kids are nothing if not considerate.

I think I’m a pretty decent mom. Definitely not the best, but definitely not the shittiest. I fall somewhere in between Carol Brady and Peg Bundy. I’ll let your imagination do the rest. One thing that makes motherhood so difficult for me is mornings. I hate mornings and that is when kids are the most demanding. They want selfish things like food and drinks and a lunch packed for school. I for one have a hard time forming syllables and walking without bumping into things before I’ve had a cup of coffee. So that is a line I’ve had to learn to tread and I’ve been moderately successful. Everyone gets out of the house on time with clean clothes and a packed lunch and I usually only have to threaten to ground them for life like three or four times.

I’ve realized most recently that I am not cut out for domestic life. While I love my family I am just not the type of woman that wants to cook, clean and do laundry all day long. I do it, but I don’t like it. The novelty wears off rather quickly. But one benefit is that I can spend the entire day in my pajamas…and zero fucks will be given. Being a stay at home parent is a thankless job. It’s a seven-day, twenty-four-hour job. No sick days, no vacation time and our “supervisors” are assholes. We get paid in dirty diapers and piles of laundry that are so high you could probably sled down the side. It’s Groundhog Day, all day, every day. Some people love it and I’m very happy for them, but I am NOT one of those people. Truthfully, it’s not that bad of a gig. But the benefits could definitely use an upgrade!

Having kids with special needs is never dull. Overwhelming, yes but dull no. I’ve learned so much in my short tenure as a mom and I know I haven’t even scratched the surface. But learning from them and watching them grow is seriously the coolest thing on earth.

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