Mornings are the devil

imageMornings are the worst. They require being a coherent, functioning person. Some people do this well, with little effort.

Sadly, I am not one of these people.

Here are 32 morning struggles I go through:

1. Mornings start way too early.
2. Your bed is always the most comfortable when you have to get out of it.
3. When you have children, they wake up with the energy of those annoying, battery operated dogs.
4. And they want stuff from you.
5. Like food, drinks and conversation.
6. Sometimes your husband uses the last of the water in the keurig. #thanksjerk
7. And you have to refill it.
8. Which takes strength and dexterity.
9. Which is usually lacking first thing in the morning.
10. When you do finally get your coffee, it usually ends up getting cold.
11. Because kids.
12. So you reheat it. One, two, four times.
13. Or you just drink it cold because dammit you need it.
14. Who’s turn is it to watch for the school bus?
15. I don’t know. But let’s fight about it.
16. And also let’s fight about the sky being blue.
17. Or the fact that your foot touched your brothers foot.
18. Your non verbal child hates getting dressed? It’s cool. He’ll just scream for the duration. At the top of his lungs.
19. Oh the dog needs to go out.
20. And needs to hunt for the perfect poop spot.
21. Which takes her twenty minutes.
22. Mom the bus is here!
23. Oh my backpack isn’t ready.
24. Even though I’ve had a literal hour to get it ready.
25. Bye mom!
26. Bye kids! Have a good day!
27. Silence.
28. Coffee #2
29. Coffee #3
30. Coffee #4
31. I think you get the idea.
32. Mommin’ ain’t easy.

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