“Real” Housewives

imageThe Real Housewives franchise has been around since 2006, when the Orange County crew appeared for the first time. I watched, mainly because I grew up in the very town this foolishness was filmed in. It was interesting to me to see them filming at my old stomping grounds and really solidify the phrase “first world problems“.

Since then there have been more Real Housewives in New York, Atlanta, Beverly Hills and more. The irony here, if you want to call it that, is that they aren’t real. I’ve never seen a more inaccurate depiction of what it means to be a housewife. I believe that there are more housewives like me than there are housewives like them. I will never know what it’s like to wake up and think “hmm, I’m going to hop in my Maserati and go buy a $200,000 piece of jewelry because it’s Tuesday.” It’s more like “hmm, I hope I have time to take a shower today because I have too many kids and too many chores.”

Sigh.

Now some of these women do have real life problems. Substance abuse, domestic violence, divorce, health issues…those are things that affect all people, regardless of financial status or celebrity. But then there is the catty bullshit that they manufacture between each other that is just shenanigans.

Being wealthy, employing nannies and maids, traveling around in limos and town cars and spending tens of thousands of dollars on an outfit does NOT make you a housewife.

Learning how to stretch a dollar, cut coupons, change a diaper with one hand, driving around in a mom mobile while your kids are fighting in the backseat, going to work, doing the laundry, cooking dinner…that’s real.

I would love to challenge these ladies to swap lives with me for a day. Let’s see how far they get through an IEP meeting or an autism evaluation before they are crying into their perfectly manicured hands. Or waking up before the sun and tending to the kids and the house before going to work at night.

You know what’s ridiculous about the whole thing? We still watch this shit. It’s entertaining, in all its over the top splendor. There is something fascinating and voyeuristic about watching other people’s lives. And I imagine that people find Bravo’s idea of real housewives much more fascinating than an actual real housewife. Watching me do laundry and cut the crust off my sons sandwich is not nearly as stimulating.

I hope they realize how blessed they are and understand that no matter how Bravo tries to spin it, they are not real.

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