Married with children

imageMarriage is a tricky institution. Some days you are so in love that you just can’t wipe the smile off your face. Others you contemplate throwing a heavy object at their head. It’s a hard line to tread successfully.

I’ve been married for fourteen years. Sometimes it feels like fourteen hundred years. I find it so interesting that someone I love so much can annoy the ever loving shit out of me.

Married life is ever evolving. In the beginning, it’s new and exciting. You are the most disgusting lovebirds anyone has ever witnessed. You have sex like four times a day. You just can’t get enough of each other.

As the years pass and children enter the picture, things change. You still love each other of course, but maybe you’re not as hot and heavy as you once were. Because who has time for that between diaper changes and Bubble Guppies? The nights you once spent staying up all night and having sexy time are now replaced staying up all night with a teething baby. Nothing puts a damper on a sex life like a drooling, cooing, pooping infant.

You have to be creative when you have kids. You actually have to schedule time together. You are sometimes faced with the pain staking decision of going to sleep or scrambling the energy to get some. And even though you thought you’d always choose the latter, you now realize sleep is precious and sex just leads to more children anyway.

There is a comfort that comes along with being married though. I’ve never had a comfort level with anyone like I do with my husband. I can share literally anything with him. Good, bad, disgusting…doesn’t matter. He is the first person I want to share things with and he makes me laugh, which is something that I treasure. The inside jokes we share and the way he tells me I’m beautiful even when I look like a troll means a lot to me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Don’t mistake these shmoopy feelings, he still pisses me off on a regular basis. He’s horrible at housework and rarely contributes and he notoriously leaves his shit everywhere and almost always uses all the water in the keurig without refilling it and boy does that make me angry. That’s where the “wanting to throw a heavy object at their head” comes into play. Don’t worry, I don’t DO it…I just want to.


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