Anxiety

imageAnxiety is a bitch.

Seriously. A mean nasty bitch. If anxiety went to your high school, she would be the stuck up girl that bullied you.

I started suffering from anxiety after I had my first child. It would occur sporadically, and it would start with trouble catching my breath. Followed by heart palpitations. I went to see a doctor, who gave me a Xanax prescription. She told me not to take it if I was alone with my baby, because it could cause me to be kind of loopy. Which was the wrong thing to say, because it basically made me anxious about taking anxiety meds. #thanksdoc

So over the last decade or so, I’ve done without. But recently I noticed I was having anxiety attacks more and more frequently. I have a high stress life, so I would rationalize that my life is the real jerk here and I would just deal with it. But about two months ago, I went a week straight with several anxiety attacks per day. And I realized I needed to get some help.

So I went to see my doctor and told her what was going on. I said I’d like to try some anxiety medication, but nothing that would make me unable to function. She introduced me to Celexa, who has become my new best friend.

I noticed a difference after taking Celexa for less than a week. My anxiety levels greatly reduced. It’s been almost two months now that I’ve been taking it and it has really helped. There have been a few occasions where the cluster fuck that is my life surpassed the limits of my medication. But as my doctor explained, it’s a great helper, but not a magic wand.

In the past, doctors have always instructed me to reduce my stress level. Which is hilarious, because don’t you think if I knew how to do that, I would have already? #duh

With three special needs kids, a job, a household and all kinds of assorted bullshit to handle, I get stressed. I don’t really have a less stressed version of life at the moment. Maybe someday.

My husband is never stressed about anything. Probably because I do everything. He’s always telling me to “relax” and not “stress” but that is easier said than done. I could relax and give zero fucks about anything, but then nothing would get done and I’d just end up stressed anyway.

Stress and anxiety are real. Regardless of what the naysayers or Tom Cruise say. Every one endures these feelings time and again and that’s normal. But if it’s effecting your every day life and your ability to function some times, there is no shame in getting outside help. Therapy, medication…these things can help.

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