Relax

imageThe kids just left for school and I’m sitting on my porch, enjoying my second cup of coffee. The first cup was taken like more of a shot, so that I could get the kids out the door without incident. #thestruggleisreal

It’s a gray and rainy morning. I love sitting on my porch when it’s like this. There is something so peaceful about it. It’s mostly quiet, with the exception of a few birds and the hum of the air conditioner. At this moment I have nowhere else to be and nothing else to do. And it’s a great feeling.

Life is full of responsibilities and other assorted bullshit. There is never a day where I can say “wow, I have nothing to do!”

So I choose to take these moments and appreciate them. In a little while, I’ll go in the house. I have dishes to do, laundry to wash, floors to mop and furniture to dust. I also need to vacuum, clean the bathrooms and sort through the mail. I have to change the kids’ sheets and start packing for our trip this weekend.

I may or may not get to all these things today. I do my best, but I’m human and can only do so much in one day. Plus, the boys will come home from school eventually and then I have to deal with homework, dinner, showers and of course, quality time.

My work is never done. I always have something or someone to take care of. And even though it’s stressful sometimes, I do enjoy it. I like being needed and I like being a caregiver. Sometimes I wish I had a break, but before too long my babies will be grown and I know I will look back on this time and miss it.

But for now, it’s just me and my porch. My coffee and the birds. I’m not going to worry about my never ending list of nonsense for the time being. I’m just going to sit here and enjoy my solitude.

I’m trying this new thing where I take time to relax. It’s foreign to me, for even when I’m technically “relaxing”, I’m usually stressing over something. But I’m trying not to. I’m trying to enjoy moments like these because I deserve them. And it’s good for the soul. So far, I’m loving it!

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