Oldest has developed a penchant for lying. I hate this, because I don’t trust a word he says. There have been a few occasions where I thought he was lying and later found out he wasn’t. But there have been more occasions where I’ve caught him in a lie.
I decided to take this up with my friend, Google. I typed in autistic children lying and came across an article that actually boasts that lying is a developmental milestone for children on the spectrum.
Hold up…seriously?
My boy has overcome many obstacles since his diagnosis nine years ago. He has hit many milestones that I’m incredibly proud of. But I will not celebrate lying. #sorrynotsorry
It concerns me, because he’s barely eleven. And lies (mostly) about really trivial shit. Probably common stuff all kids lie about. Homework, brushing his teeth, hitting his brother…
But today, I asked him to take the puppy out and feed her. The hubs and I woke up late and I had to make breakfast and such so I asked him to do me a solid and take care of her. She usually gets taken out and fed between 6-6:30AM and then around 8:30AM I take her for a walk. When I went to get her out of her crate, she had peed inside. And I knew at that moment, that he lied about taking her out. He looked me in the eye and told me he did it. He even asked me for an extra privilege after school for doing me a favor. And he just lied.
Not only is it unfair to the puppy, who had to get a scrub down along with her crate, it’s just wrong. I really felt like I’d properly taught my boys about right and wrong, and the importance of telling the truth. #momfail
How do you teach a child not to lie? I can punish him. I can yell at him, lecture him, take his things away…but this is not the first time this has happened and I’m sure it won’t be the last. I have grounded him, lectured him, taken things away from him, yet he still doesn’t seem to get the message.
This is one reason why I call him my starter child. All new frontiers start with him.
I want him to understand that lying isn’t just wrong, it can be hurtful. Telling the truth is always your best bet. Even if you get in trouble, you’ll get in less trouble for being honest. We are human and we all make mistakes. But this goes above and beyond making a mistake. He told a bold faced lie and expected to reap reward from it.
So now I have to think of a creative punishment. Something that will get through to him and hopefully encourage him to make a wiser choice when placed in this position again.
Anyone with advice, please feel free to comment. Remember…it takes a village! 😉
Momma on the Edge 
Going through the same thing right now. Trust is a HUGE deal to me too. It breaks my heart when my kids lie, and you’re right, it’s usually over trivial stuff (tooth brushing seems to be universal). What I can’t get them to understand, is that the little lie erodes at my trust so that when they want to do the big things, I recall how they handled the little things. So frustrating. I’ve heard of people make their kid “shadow” them – follow the parents around all day and do exactly what the parent does. It’s not always possible, but it might work. What teen wants to follow mom all day – I actually made my daughter go to my sons soccer practice with me and sit there and just watch. She wasn’t happy about it, but took it in stride. Plus it gave us time just to “be”without arguing or lecturing. I’ll let you know how it works. I’ve got the whole weekend ahead of me to enforce it. Best of luck to you!
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Best of luck to you too Lisa. It’s not easy to do that’s for sure. It’s common for kids to do this, but that doesn’t make it ok. Hopefully we are successful! Have a great weekend!
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