I’ve found that the older I get, the more I lose myself. Being a wife and a mother has made me into a selfless person. And while there is nothing wrong with being selfless, we all deserve to be a little selfish sometimes.
When I was young, I had many hobbies. I was very social, I loved to go dancing and shopping and to parties. Movies, concerts… you name it, Momma was there. The thought of doing these things now is so foreign to me. I couldn’t tell you the last time I went dancing or to a movie that wasn’t animated. I went to a concert a few years ago and I was one of the oldest people there. Gave no fucks though! I truly enjoyed it, but was exhausted for two days afterwards.
I don’t really have much of a life anymore. I take care of my family and go to work. Every once in awhile I go to trivia night with a group of coworkers which is super fun…even though most of them were born in the 90’s 😉
I don’t do things for myself. I don’t get my hair or nails done, I don’t buy clothes or shoes. I don’t invest time or money into myself and to be honest, I’m kind of sick of it. When the kids or husband needs/wants something, they get it. For me, I will argue with myself that we might need that money for something more important than a pedicure. After all, it won’t matter if my toes look great if we don’t have gas in the car right?
I want to care about myself again. I want to have a life and hobbies and interests. I want to be a person, not just a wife and mom. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way. But honestly, there has to be more to life than cooking dinner and mopping the floors.
I’ve decided to put together a bucket list of sorts. Nothing crazy, I’m not much for skydiving, bungee jumping or really anything “heights” related. But there are things I’ve always wanted to do or try and I’m not getting any younger. So I’m going to do it! I will post my list on this blog and document my progress.
Watch out world…here comes Momma!
To be continued….