So last night I was laying in my bedroom, trying to relax…and failing. I was looking around at the piles of laundry and the collection of empty water bottles on my nightstand and I suddenly started thinking about this show that used to be on MTV called Cribs, which had a camera crew go through famous people’s homes, showcasing all of the ridiculousness that they had. I know, my thought process is a little strange. #imfunnytho
The celebrities that were featured on this show had beautiful, elaborate homes that had limitless ceilings, sky lights, bowling allies, movie theaters…you know, all of the necessities in life.
My version of Cribs would be much different.
Welcome to my Crib! Please watch your step upon entering, I wouldn’t want you to trip on the giant pile of shoes next to the door.
To the right is my dining room table, that rarely gets used for actual dining. It’s actually more of a catch all for everyone’s shit. Mail, school papers, crayons, the dogs leash and usually a vase with dead, or close to dead, flowers can be seen on the top of said table at all times.
Next we have the kitchen, complete with the stove burners that have all kinds of mayhem burned into them. And the dirty dishes in the sink? Those are pretty much always there. It’s actually believed that they reproduce on their own. #aliens
Let’s not forget the living room! The couches you see here are old and desperately need to be replaced. And the goldfish crackers underneath the coffee table are courtesy of my littlest little, who likes to store extra snacks wherever he can. These are also his toys scattered all over the place. And yes, that is an original Yo Gabba Gabba guitar. #bejealous
Next we have the half bathroom, which features matching water and food bowls for our dog, Lily. You can usually find an empty toilet paper roll too, because replacing it would be too mainstream. You can also find some Avengers hand soap, which was purchased in an effort to persuade my children to actually wash their hands. But it mostly gets knocked over and spills into the sink, creating the lovely pink glaze you see around the edges.
As we head upstairs, again, please watch your step. We are going to pass that pesky shoe pile again and most likely encounter books, toys and possibly some clothes.
I could go on, but I don’t know if you can handle the rest of the “crib”.
A touch different from Mariah Carey, eh?
But I don’t know if it would be as entertaining to tour regular folks’ homes. I definitely don’t have a bowling alley or anything fancy over here.
I do however have a laundry mountain. Can any of these so called famous people say the same? #ithinknot