Today I’m choosing to have a pity party. If you’re feeling down in the dumps, feel free to attend. But just know it’s BYOB, I’m not about that life.
On one hand, I’m very blessed. I have a beautiful family, a home, a puppy, a job. I have food to eat and clothes to wear and TV to watch. What’s not to like there?
On the other hand, I’m very overwhelmed. That beautiful family? They are exhausting. Caring for them and entertaining them and dealing with autism meltdowns and fighting gets old really quick. That home I mentioned? It’s a bitch to keep clean. Especially when the aforementioned beautiful family doesn’t pitch in enough. The puppy? Love her, she’s adorable and can be very sweet. But she’s a puppy, which is like having a baby and I don’t have time or patience for that shit. The job? I love my job, but it gets overwhelming at times trying to balance that with my home life. My managers (well two of them) don’t understand because they don’t have kids yet. They’ll learn, eventually.
I have a medical condition called thrombocytopenia, which basically means my blood doesn’t clot. So if I ever get like a paper cut, I bleed like I’ve lost a limb. It’s an auto immune disorder and one of the lovely side effects is fatigue. As if my life weren’t tiring enough, right?
I also have semi chronic pain. I say semi chronic, cause it’s not all the time. I have it about fifty percent of the time. I go through waves of pain from head to toe, where everything hurts from skin to bone. Doctors say it’s nothing, but I disagree. Taking Advil or Tylenol doesn’t help. I just have to deal with it, which sucks big time.
I don’t normally believe in pity parties. I believe that we all just have to soldier on. Put on our big girl (or boy) panties and deal with it. But sometimes, you just need to wallow. But you don’t want to get too sucked up in the wallow. That becomes a full on depression. Have a wallow moment and then move on. Sometimes easier said than done, but important nonetheless.
Thank you for attending my pity party. Am I a kickass hostess or what?