Being on this earth for 33 years hasn’t left me with nothing. I’ve learned some shit! And I thought, being the caring individual that I am, that I’d share some of that shit with you! You’re welcome! So without further ado, here is volume five:
* Florida is hot as Hades.
* Some people are not meant to be in the sun. I’ve recently discovered that I am one of those people.
* Iced coffee is good, but doesn’t deliver the same satisfaction as hot coffee. It does help you sweat less though. #butonlyalittle
* Pajamas are always the answer.
* Creativity is a necessity in life.
* When you finally tackle a Pinterest project and nail it, it’s a great feeling.
* The panic you feel when you have to clean for company makes you wonder just how disgusting your family really is.
* Kids are like elephants. They never forget. Unless it’s a chore or homework or something of the like.
* School starts in five weeks. Hell yes I’m counting!
* Baseball caps are great for when your hair is in nope mode.
* Willis Carrier is my favorite person. #heinventedairconditioning
* When I make my bed in the morning, it really makes me feel like I’ve got my life together.
* The above statement is kind of sad. But hey, it’s the little things!
* If you give a dog a bone, they will leave you alone for hours. Why doesn’t this work on kids?
* It’s an odd tradition that to celebrate America’s independence, we blow shit up. Nothing says ‘Murica like explosives!
* I wonder what the world would be like if cell phones never existed. We would probably be more social. But we’d still have to use pay phones like the generations before us. How would people Instagram their breakfast? Omg the world would stop. #cellphonesneverleaveus
* Citronella is great for keeping mosquitos away. But the smoke will make your eyes water uncontrollably.
* Cicadas are loud as hell and probably one of ugliest insects I’ve ever seen. Florida is lousy with them.
* Christmas is only five months away. Which means the stores should start decorating probably next week.
* We have to wait almost a year to see what happens on Game of Thrones. So unfair. #mywatchisover
* The leading cause of death for a vacuum is Lego.