The Art of Consequences

imageA couple of days ago I had the pleasure, or rather displeasure, of teaching my boys yet another life lesson.

The art of consequences.

I had a surprise planned for Oldest and Middle on Friday night. Our local NFL team was hosting a family night and I scored free tickets. Nickelodeon was also going to be there, sliming people so all in all, it would’ve been a fantastic time for them. They knew I had a surprise planned, but didn’t know what it was.

All week long they kept guessing and were excitedly anticipating their surprise. As their mom, I was excited too. I love surprising them and I thought they would have a really good time.

But as the week went on, so did their bad behavior. It was mostly little things, like arguing about dinner and occasional backtalk. Not that I condone that behavior, but it’s kind of par for the course with preteens in the house.

Friday morning arrived and I was engaging in my favorite activity, drinking my coffee, when suddenly I hear screaming, yelling and stomping. Turns out, that Middle thought it was acceptable to kick Oldest in the face. Oldest was thankfully uninjured, yet incredibly angry that his brother did this to him. He conveniently left out the part where he was chastising his brother and aggravating him to no end. That certainly doesn’t excuse Middle’s behavior, but it’s not as though he walked up to him and kicked him unprovoked.

About thirty minutes later, I was in the kitchen and heard Littlest whining. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day and for lack of a better word, was just a bitch. Since he’s mostly nonverbal, he can’t just tell us what’s bothering him, so he goes through bouts of crying, whining and bitching. It’s annoying, but he can’t help it. Oldest cannot stand it when he does this and I’ve told him before to just leave the room. I happened to walk in the living room to see what was going on just as Oldest was about to hit Littlest.

What the shit guys???

Before I go on, I will state that we don’t hit in our house. We don’t spank our kids and we don’t condone that type of behavior from them. My boys are naturally active and hitting is unfortunately somewhat of a commonplace for them, but I hate this behavior and do not find it acceptable in the least.

Ok, back to the story.

I sat the boys down and lectured the shit out of them. I explained that violence isn’t the answer and it’s not acceptable and will not be tolerated. I grounded them from all of their electronics for the weekend and also told them that their surprise, was canceled.

Oh the shit they flipped!

“Please mom, let us earn it back!”
“We’re sorry!”

Nope.

I explained to them that I would not reward them for bad behavior. That this is a consequence of their actions. Their pleading then turned into anger.

“You’re the meanest mom!”
“You never let us do anything fun!”

Are these bitches serious?

I had to stick to my guns. I had to show them that there are consequences to their actions and if they can’t do the time, they shouldn’t do the crime.

I hate to toot my own horn, but I sound like a bonafide mom, don’t I?

It’s disappointing that I couldn’t take them to the NFL family night. I’m sure they would’ve had a blast. But I felt that it would send the wrong message to them and I want them to learn from their mistakes.

I hope that at some point, they learn the art of consequences. That they understand that when they do bad things, there will be punishment. And I hope that it deters them from doing the bad things. Being a disciplinarian is one of the worst parts of parenting. I don’t like punishing them, even though they sometimes think I do. But if I let them get away with everything, they will grow up to be assholes and nobody wants that, right?

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6 thoughts on “The Art of Consequences

  1. Props to you for standing your ground!! We raised our boys with no hitting either -my two didn’t hit each other which I know is odd, but both my boys were special needs when younger. You did have to let them know that behavior isn’t acceptable.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First off, way to go for sticking with saying “no” — I know how hard that can be. There was a time a couple years ago when our oldest (who was 6 at the time) was being awful at home. Picking fights with his sister who is just a little younger than him, talking back to me, lying, not listening and just flat out probably being a normal bratty 6 year old boy. I warned him if he didn’t clean up his act that he wouldn’t get to participate at baseball practice. Well, sure as shit he hit his sister and BOOM I told him baseball practice was cancelled for him. His dad and stepdad were the coaches so I informed them that he would be at practice BUT he will be watching from the bench. I told James (our oldest) that he made a commitment so had to stick to his word but he will be on the bench the entire practice and if anyone asked why he wasn’t playing he could explain that to his friends.
    Harsh? Yeah, most likely, but to THIS day, James will remind his sister of that horrible consequence he had to suffer and you bet he never pulled stunts like that again….at least not during baseball season LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good for you! As parents we have to stick to our guns, even though it’s not always easy. At least James seems to have learned his lesson. Maybe he can teach mine to do that??? Lol

      Liked by 1 person

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