So I’m sitting on my porch, enjoying the coolness of the early morning and drinking my coffee. The sun is just starting to come up and it’s very quiet, with the exception of a few birds and the squirrels running around. The puppy is curled up eating her bone and it’s a very peaceful setting.
So naturally, what am I doing? Stressing about all the shit I have to do today.
I suck at relaxing. I always have so much to do that if I’m not doing it, I’m thinking about it, so I’m not enjoying myself. I really need to work on that.
There is so much that goes into my life and taking care of my family. This is the last week of summer vacation and I want to do fun things with the kids, however it’s projected to rain pretty much every day so that kind of sucks. There is cleaning, laundry and cooking to do. Errands and of course, work. If I really take the time to stop and think about all of the things I do and have to do, I have a mini panic attack.
I try to be organized. I write lists and try to split everything up by the day so I’m not overwhelmed. But it’s hard to live life by a list. And I start out organized and usually end up throwing up my hands and saying fuck it after awhile.
While having a clean house and staying on top of the chores is important, so is spending time with my kids. And when they grow up, I want them to remember that their mom spent time with them, not that the toilets were sparkling.
It’s a balance all parents have to learn. Juggling family, work and responsibility. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. There are plenty of late nights folding laundry or last minute trips to the store for lunchbox supplies.
There are some moms out there that are so organized and I’m so jealous of them. They have a clean house and make time to make themselves presentable and seem to get everything done with ease. Whereas I usually throw on a baseball cap because my hair looks scary and my house definitely has that “lived in” look.
But it is what it is. I do the best I can and that’s really all any of us can do. I will rarely choose cleaning over having a tickle fest with Littlest or playing a game with Oldest and Middle. And at the end of the day, I think that’s what really matters.